BLACK EXHAUSTION

Every day I enjoy a nice three mile walk in my neighborhood. It is my way of disconnecting from my computer which I use all day in the new COVID education environment. work from home. These walks also are my way of taking care of my body. I walk pretty fast so after these three miles I am a bit exhausted. Yesterday was different.

During my walk I came to pass by a home where two ladies were sitting, enjoying the beautiful day with one of their daughters playing in the driveway. As I came close one of the ladies looked my way and immediately - and I mean immediately - she moved from her chair and began moving towards her daughter at the same time calling her to come closer to the garage.

She did not know me. She did not know that I am the last person she should be afraid of. She did not know that I am a parent, a teacher, a pastor etc. She only knew what she saw and that was enough for her to fear that her daughter was in imminent danger. As I shook my head at the incident I was reminded of what I have called Black Exhaustion. This is a title of a chapter in a book I am currently writing.

It can be major work to be black in America! It is exhaustion - emotional, mental and psychological. This is not understood by most cultures in our country but the continual sense of knowing that you are perceived by some as inferior or scary just because of the color of your sin is daily exhaustion. I came to see it this way in researching the experience of blacks in America and the many ways we had to fight - daily - to survive and to be considered citizens in this country.

• The emotional exhaustion on families separated during slavery.

• The physical exhaustion of laboring in fields from sun up to sun down under the beating heat of the sun.

• The mental exhaustion of trying to work to be considered more than three-fifths human.

• The psychological exhaustion black boys seeing their fathers carrying signs that read "I Am A Man."

• The social exhaustion of beating into the minds of the masses that the phrase Black Lives Matter DOES NOT mean that no other life matters!

What I experienced yesterday on my walk, in my neighborhood, is what is often experienced by too many others in daily life. We are judged by how we are perceived, not for the individuals we are. Rather, we are judged in conjunction with the perceptions people have about blacks in general. We are not seen as individuals, and that is a very odd thing. It is odd because those who judge us in this way want for themselves to be judged for who they are and what they do. They want to be seen as individually and not for what their ancestors did. Odd!

I only wish the white Christians would not seek to move past our history but, instead, studied it. They would find that blacks have done more work for this country than any other ethnic group in the United States.

Yet, even writing those words is exhausting. It's exhausting to wait around for people who deem themselves intelligent to act intelligently on the issue of race and racial exclusion in society and in the church.

I feel the same way as the black grandmother who spoke to her grandson after a long day of marching: "My feet are tired baby."